Category: Uncategorized

nn

I need to start taking better care of myself. I've been averaging about 1 meal a day.

nn

Mind you, I just haven't been hungry. I normally don't even think about food until my stomach starts to hurt, and recently a single meal in a 24 hour period seems to shut it up, so I haven't really thought too much about it.

nn

But I doubt it's healthy. I doubt I can really do it for all that much longer without running into problems. This has always been a problem, I'd get really busy, and really interested in what I was doing. After the first hunger pains go away, I don't usually tend to feel it anymore, it turns into white noise. I don't really feel starved of course, but I've noticed recently my thought patterns are a little more erratic than normal. It's something to work on for sure.

nn

Funny too, my stomach hurts more now that I've eaten than it did before I ate. Figure that one out if you dare.

nn

I got Merc to order me a laptop today, I even picked it out! I'm getting moved out of support and technical services, and into R&D. That means I'll be giving up my workbench for a desk, and since I'm on a bunch of projects, I'll be moving around a fair bit. I can't honestly say I'm looking forward to it, I'm more nervous about screwing up and letting people down than I am excited about the future opportunities.

nn

Likely I'll end up splitting my time even further, and continue doing support work as I can, while fitting it into my development time. I hope I don't disappoint them.

nn

I just want to be useful.

n

#uncategorized

nn

*yawn*

nn

Laundry is such a pain. It takes FOREVER. I'm still up, and damn am I tired. I figure since I have at least another hour before my clothes are done, I'll write a little here.

nn

K's visit was so extremely great I doubt I could find the words with a dictionary. I got a chance to show her around Merc, and introduced her to all the major players. The response was pretty good too. I'd wanted to intro her to the HR director, but she was out, and didn't come back until far too late. No matter though, I mentioned K to her, and I saw enough of a flicker of interest that I think things might work out in that area.

nn

Clayton bugged me unmercifully of course, because he could. Why is it I can't introduce a lady to my co-workers without them jumping to all sorts of conclusions?

nn

As always, I was quick to correct them when their opinions ventured off into the realm of pure fantasy.

nn

I didn't get much real work done today. Two meetings in the afternoon pretty much killed it dead, and the fact I was having problems standing without swaying back and forth also didn't really help much. I've got a full plate tomorrow, but luckily nothing is too pressing at the moment.

nn

It's funny, they're going to put another guy in charge of the IT section. That's fine, but he's not boss yet, and he's got no staff, and it's still at the point that *I'm* giving him orders.

nn

And he's going to take over running this section? Plus of course, I'm supposed to set up this wonderful work area downstairs to do IT related work, and I'm getting dragged away for development work.

nn

If I get pulled from IT, the fixing stops. It's that simple. It really seems like management is getting the order of operations wrong. It goes like this…

nn

Finish setting up an IT section.
Hire an IT tech to work on new systems
Hire an IT tech to do support work.
Train the hell out of them.
Bring in the IT manager, train him.
Pull Aaron out of the tech department halftime and evaluate.
Train more if required.
Turn the IT department over to the properly trained and armoured IT group, Aaron goes off into R&D world.

nn

*sigh*

nn

I guess it's too much to ask. I have a simple solution. I'm not moving. Not one inch. Not until they do things the right way. After all, if they mess up, I'll likely end up fixing everything, and that's more frustrating than setting it up right the first time.

nn

I'm done bitching. I'm tired, that makes me cranky, and I don't need to write it here. 1 more hour or so, then I can get some sleep 🙂

nn

G'night!

n

#uncategorized

nn

Ow ow ow.

nn

3 1/2 hours sleep. Something about seeing K seems to prompt late nights. I'd know this if we'd ever really had a chance to hang out before. Maybe it's the fact I'm interested enough in the conversation that I'm willing to forget the clock? Anyway, two conversations, two VERY short sleeps.

nn

Today should be fun. I'm going to introduce K to Merc, 'cause Merc is the coolest place in the world to work, and K is one of my coolest friends. Sounds like a workable plan eh?

nn

I was offered the job of IT Manager again, then offered the position of a PM (project manager) lead in R&D. No new decisions have been made though, because I don't really have anyone qualified to take over my workload, and I'm not handing it off to chimps.

nn

It looks like it's going to be a nice day. Good thing too, because I think I'm going to be in and out of the office today. I'm basicallly clearing my schedule while K is here. After all, I can work anytime, but this is the first time in about 2 years we've met, and the longest we've talked (in person), in about 4 or 6 years.

nn

Damn, the time flies.

nn

Oh. My diet of stress and exercise is working (no, that's not a typo). I'm down about 12 lb this month, and falling a little bit more each day. It helps that really, no, I'm not hungry much these days, so food happens when I remember, or somewhat later still.

nn

I'll have much to write about the last few days I think, but not now. Frankly, I'm tired, and I have to focus on waking up.

nn

I'll write more later.

nn

Damn it's good to see her. 🙂

n

#uncategorized

nn

Well, I'm still up. 4 hours of sleep is not exactly the most fun I've ever had.

nn

Yesterday was pretty decent. I went in to work (as usual) for a few hours, and managed to get a bunch of stuff fixed and running right, which will drop my work load on monday to something that can be done in a regular work day. And good thing too! K's coming to town!

nn

That means I'm going to be ready to drop everything at a moment's notice, so it's good to be mostly caught up.

nn

I've done some killer work for our main project this weekend, I'm going to spring the changes on our PM on monday, I think he'll be extremely speechless, which is of course the response I'm looking for.

nn

I had a lovely chat with a friend all night. I called around 11pm, and didn't get off the phone til 4 am! That's something I haven't done since my much younger days, and I'd forgotten how much I enjoy it.

nn

It's funny, I've been writing down an imprint of my soul here and on my old site for the better part of a year, and while I've been comfortable with my beliefs, I hadn't run across anyone who was even vaguely similarly minded. It was a refreshing change to come across someone who could see where I was coming from without longwinded explanations being required. (Though I tend to give those when I get really wound up).

nn

I'll be back.

n

#uncategorized

nn

I talked to a friend until 4 am (you know who you are, it was way fun)

nn

At 8:20 am shaw called, said they'd be here “soon” to connect my internet service.

nn

Oh

nn

my

nn

god

nn

iamsoveryverytired.

nn

More later.

n

#uncategorized

nn

It's been another unusual week.

nn

I counted up my hours this year, and it looks like I've worked 75 hours over my contract since January 1. That was kind of cool, I hadn't been paying attention, and actually I've been feeling like a slacker! I'm going to see about cashing it out, and that should make my taxes somewhat more survivable.

nn

My medical plan from work just kicked in, so BC Med sent me a check for $100! I guess I had lost track and paid twice one month, I turned off paper billing from them, since I didn't have a home of my own all last year, and just did online transactions every month.

nn

I've done some seriously cool work for Merc recently. I've managed to keep up in the face of crisis. I've handled the new employee's flooding in. I've kept up with getting their equipment ready, and tech support for about 75 people. I've kept the servers from breaking. And in my copious spare time I've even done some work on our flagship product.

nn

hmmm.. I think I know where those 75 hours came from.

nn

Anyway. I wrote this killer installer for our big project. It never really was documented properly from the customer, and I've ended up replacing about 90{99f4aabb8f9a8b7318031e7dd7e1d4d33a10ca1a288a083cef0cdea647a62112} of the code in it, plus doubling the size by continuing to add features. Sadly, they keep adding feature requests, but none of them get passed to me (long story). So I've been proactively adding based on hints that the customer may want feature “x”.

nn

I showed it to the project manager yesterday. I've been telling him about it off and on, to keep him in the loop, but he's a damn busy man, so I try not to bother him, but I didn't know if he'd even seen it since I went into overdrive with it.

nn

“Holy Shit” was his reaction. He followed that with (in an loud voice) “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE GAVE YOU A RAISE?!”.

nn

That was promising.

nn

At the end of the day asked me exactly how much I made. I told him, and he thought for a minute, then pulled me aside and offered me the job of “IT Manager”.

nn

I told him “Nothing personal, but I think I'd rather take a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Stupid team mates make me wiggy”.

nn

So we're going to hire some one to fill that post. Here's where it gets cool. I told him I'd happily work with the new lead on one condition, that I'm NOT accountable to him.

nn

His words. “Not a problem”

nn

I love my job.

n

#uncategorized

nn

Grr!

nn

Telus just changed their rate structure. Now they have bandwidth limits. Evil!

nn

So i called shaw :). I'm way over for this month according to telus, and getting cut off for checking my mail would piss me off beyond words.

nn

To say nothing about what missing friend's journals would do to me. I'd be a wreck!

nn

So I'm exchanging one evil for another.

nn

Damn.

n

#uncategorized

nn

Wheee. This week was fun.

nn

Much work, many miracles. Fixed the pretty lady's computer, which seems to be my role in life. Had someone follow me until I parked and offered 5K for my camaro tonight.

nn

Great, that'd be money and no wheels. Or a new car and unknown problems. Thanks anyway buddy.

nn

Besides, it's such a fun car for cross country driving, and I have 3 trips coming up this year. I'm NOT DONE WITH IT!!

nn

I've had a few drinks, one more than my limit, and one more's on my desk in front of me, not long for this world.

nn

I'm going to stop now, nothing important enough to relate is new yet, but I'm always hopeful.

nn

G'night!

n

#uncategorized

nn

A friend of mine is having a crisis of faith. He's got a simple question. What's the point of all of this?

nn

He asked someone at work today, and I heard, and I offered my ear to his pain. I couldn't help it. I asked the same question 3 years ago, and came up with an answer I could live with.

nn

He wants there to be some purpose behind it all, some master plan, some reason for doing, and being.

nn

That's not a question most people ask in the middle of the day. I asked him in return “Does there have to be a purpose behind it? Isn't it enough to simply be, to exist? You are the center of your universe, the focal point of all your perceptions and all your memories. While you live you stand in the center of it all, and it all radiates outward from you. Can't you just be happy to BE?”

nn

He can't. He doesn't seem to have a faith to hang on to, so the questions he's asking are difficult in the extreme. Faith provides you with a second chance, a “next time around”, an “after the mortal coil”. Abandoning faith leaves you alone, facing a clock that is inexoriably winding down. If your life is not for your children, and if your life is not for the future, and if your life is once, and once only, it's hard to find a reason to live it.

nn

I hope he finds his own answer to this. I doubt mine will suit him. He needs a reason, something to balance the equation and make it all make sense.

nn

3 years ago I was at the same question. I found my answer and abandoned my faith. I found the path that leads to my future, and I can accept it. Even now with his question pounding in my ears I know my answer still fits.

nn

I want little things.

nn

And there's still time.

n

#uncategorized

nn

I had a dream last night.

nn

There were people I did not recognize, doing things I don't remember. All I remember clearly is that I was happy.

nn

I wonder why?

nn

I put my wedding ring on again this morning. It's been sitting in my bathroom for a few months now, along with the two other rings I used to wear. I'm not quite sure why I did, but I don't feel any real desire to take it off.

nn

Maybe I'm just being “leave-me-aloneish”. After all, a ring is the clearest sign that someone's not available to play with.

nn

I'm not sure. It's quite pretty though, especially on a sunny day.

nn

I think I'll leave it where it is.

n

#uncategorized