Author: Aaron

Posted on

Light will keep your heart beating in the future

Lyrics

I was in many minds
I was in an airport bookstore
I wait for many moons
Left a suitcase on the fourth floor
Enormous balloons
Gold chocker all made out of spoons
Eatin’ super sugar crisp
I was getting used to this
WellLight will keep your heart beating in the future
Light will keep your heart beating in the future
Keep your heart beating in the –
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in theThere was a lot of them
Ther was a bloody fight next door
The was a crack stem
There was a ghoul on the misty moor
City bus
Ketamine
Lucy Lawless
Magazine
Out of base
Lucky charm
Outer space
Smoke alarmLight will keep your heart beating in the future
Light will keep your heart beating in the future
Keep your heart beating in the –
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in theOverlap
Overleaf
Shoulder strap
Fire chief
Porch swing
Moneyless
Purple wine
Freckle face
Heavy hand
Closed door
Contraband
North shore
Fine line
Margarine
Ridin’ line
Mandarin

Light will keep your heart beating in the future
Light will keep your heart beating in the future
Keep your heart beating in the –
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the

Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the

Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating
Keep your heart beating, beating
Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the

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Boy and Angel – Mike Doughty

The boy never fell as he ran across the plain
And home to winter
She flew beside him an angel of despair

And won’t somebody tell him why the stars refuse to shine
There’s laughter in the dark
And I can’t sleep at night

And why must the night last til the day
Which never comes again

The mountain’s drawing closer
The dawn is close behind
The boy runs on his legs don’t falter now
The cold winds drive him on
But look you careful now
For all is withered where he runs

And won’t somebody tell him why the stars refuse to shine
There’s laughter in the dark
And I can’t sleep at night

And why must the night last til the day
Which never comes again

A tunnel there beneath the mountain
The boy runs on his stride never slowing
The angel cannot follow
She turns her back and flies away
He runs through streets of ice now
And ever shall til spring returns

And won’t somebody tell him why the stars refuse to shine
There’s laughter in the dark
And I can’t sleep at night

And why must the night last til the day
Which never comes again

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As far as I know, almost no one reads this.

You know what? That’s perfectly fine.

I’m not writing this for anyone else, if I was I’d probably not write it at all, unhappy with how the words don’t come out perfectly formed on demand. Unhappy at how the topics aren’t exciting to anyone but me. Concerned that I might be exposing more than I mean to.

It’s for me.

This is going to be an interesting week. I mean, it’s half over today, tomorrow’s Thursday, but it’s still going to be interesting. I’ve spent the past few months pushing hard to get things done. I’ve documented all the secret things I know. I’ve shown anyone who would listen how to use all the tools. I’ve done all the heavy lifting I possibly could, all with the goal of not leaving tasks undone.

It hasn’t turned out as well as I hoped. Strictly C-level grade at best. Barely passing. I’ll have to do however. This clock has wound down, and I’m almost out of time I’m able to spend on these endeavors.

Tomorrow I go into the office, and there’ll be much to talk about.

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Bullets in a briefcase

Little fish, boat’s too full, down you go
Breathing in salt and fuel, tiny gulps
Statistically it’s commonplace, you’re not alone
So end like this instead of shot back at home
The world is a strange place
Quiet like bullets in a briefcase
Why do I feel like I’m in the wrong place?
Quiet like bullets in a briefcase
Quiet like bullets in a briefcase
Little man, Northern France, winter’s cold
800 hours, 4, 000 miles, feet alone
No one I know would even dare it, let alone
Shanty town bleeding out in the shadows
The world is a strange place
Quiet like bullets in a briefcase
Why do I feel like I’m in the wrong place?
Quiet like bullets in a briefcase
Quiet like bullets in a briefcase

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And like that, it’s 2019

The year ended in a rush, the days blurring together.

I won’t lie, the last few months of 2018 were difficult personally. The wave of pets dying, coupled with a pretty heavy seasonal depression were hard to take.

I survived however, and made it into the new year. It’s been surprisingly busy.

Christina came across an article sometime last year about how memories are formed. Apparently regularly occurring events don’t record the same way as new or differing events. In computer terms, the brain takes only the differences and writes them down. That means that a day spent like any other will fly by (or be recalled as swiftly passing), where a new event will be recorded full length.

This explains long days as a child, as well as how doctor’s visits seem to carve off a chunk of eternity.

So, that being said, that’s been foremost in my mind. I’ve done different things. Things I don’t do regularly. It’s only the 12th of January, but it feels like it’s taken a long time to get here. I count that as a good thing.

Doing some different things will be good for me. I’ve been feeling like I might rust if I remain at rest.

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Mr. Rabbit has died.

I was looking back at my blog, and I saw I hadn’t posted this here. I’m retroactively posting it for that time.

Mr. Rabbit has died. I wish I could say it was peacefully. I kept my hands on him until he was gone, so that he was not alone in those final moments. It breaks my heart.

We brought him to the vet in a rush, as I wasn’t sure he’d be around tomorrow. He’s thin. He’s so fluffy I hadn’t noticed, but he’s just bones really. His temperature was so low the vet couldn’t check it. He’s had a round of fluids, and some antibiotics.

It didn’t help. It was too little, too late. I don’t think he was even conscious at the end. God, I hope he wasn’t. It was a horrible end. It looked agonizing. All I could do was hang onto him as he failed.

It’s been months (this is being posted from 2019), and this memory still makes me flinch hard. Still brings tears to my eyes.

Mr Rabbit, I’m so sorry the end took you like that.

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Old black kitty has died.


A year ago I noticed an old black cat was hanging around. It looked thin. Starved. I suspected it’d been abandoned.


I gave it a bowl of food, and the desperation with which it ate struck a chord with me. It took three full cereal bowls before it finally walked away. I resolved to feed it. One additional cat would hardly break the bank.


It took months before it stopped forcing down absolutely every scrap it was offered. Months before it started looking a bit less gaunt. It did improve though, and the frequency with which we saw it convinced me it really didn’t have a home.


We set up a few insulated pet houses outside, to keep the wind and rain off. Old black was joined by old grey, and the two of them would spend hours sleeping on the furniture outside, or wandering the yard.
Old black would come over anytime I came outside and loudly demand attention, usually in the form of scratches. Needle sharp claws presented if he was ignored for too long.


A few days ago I noticed old black wasn’t coming by for food. He was spending a lot of time sleeping, but I didn’t see him eating anything. Yesterday I didn’t see him at all — and that was weird, since this was essentially home base.


This morning I found him. Half out of one of the houses, and face down. Gone.


It’s obviously been a few hours, he’s cold. I’ve wrapped him in a soft towel, and again in plastic, and in a few hours I’ll take him to the vet for cremation.


It’s not the least I could do, but it is all I can offer. One final bit of dignity.

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A consideration posted to Facebook

I haven’t said it in a while.

I appreciate the chance I’ve had to be a part of your lives. To peer in from the outside, to occasionally be invited in. To bear witness to your great moments.. and the ones that weren’t really so great after all.

I’m bad at socializing, and even worse at keeping in touch. That said, I value the moments we’ve shared, as friends, as acquaintances, as colleagues, and sometimes as opponents.

I firmly believe you’re all worth knowing (or you wouldn’t still be on my friends list). I believe I’m lucky to have met you. I hope the next time our paths cross, you’ll remember me fondly, or even just a little.

Thank you.

Now, that said, I had a friend ask if I had a terminal illness (or was otherwise abandoning facebook).  I realized at that point that yeah, it looks like that, as people don’t tend to say the things they feel most strongly until they’re almost out of time.

That’s not the case here, and I feel better for saying it now instead of waiting until that moment.

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Something discovered while writing a comment.

I realized something while responding to something I saw posted that said “Love thy neighbor (without exception)”

I realized that for me.. that’s not true.

My love has conditions.  It has exceptions.  It’s not all encompassing and all tolerant.  It does distinguish between people.  It’s not even free.

That’s how I can tell that it actually means something.