Today was one of those days. My cellphone rang. It rarely rings these days, and most of the time the callers are spam I send straight to voicemail.
Today it was a call that read ‘Cathy Greengrass’ on the display. I am not ashamed to admit I took a deep breath before answering.
We’re not close in the same way other families are close, so it’s pretty rare for calls to occur ‘just because’. There’s almost always some reason for the call (I do it too). The phone shouldn’t be ringing. Travel plans for her to visit in September have already been communicated, and adjustments would be noted via email. It’s not anyone’s birthday this week. I can’t think of anything they’d need to ask me.
That means it’s something they have to tell me.
I immediately thought ‘Which one of them is sick or has died?’. Yes, terrible I know, but we’re all aging at the same pace, and there are less days ahead than behind. We all know that, and it’s been the topic of some previous conversations.
It’s my dad on the line. Ok, so not him thankfully. With his heart issues, he seemed like the most likely. Mom’s tough, and from his tone when he says hello, it’s not her – he’d be shaken in a way you can’t hide.
It’s Austin. My uncle – his brother. He’s died.
My mind went blank. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t.
Austin wasn’t always the easiest person to be around. He was intense. He was opinionated. At times he could even be a real grouch. He had some valid reasons. He had his share of bad luck. He had several other people’s share too.
This year his life was turning around. He was a short distance from some really heartbreaking unfairness finally getting sorted out. He’d patched up things with his son. He had plans still to execute on.
Now he’s gone.
I hope the end came quietly and without pain. I feel sympathy for his younger children, who’ll grow up without him. I regret we didn’t talk more.
Rest in peace.