Month: April 2010

 

It’s been a crazy busy time.

4 days a week on the new job I’m working at, 1 day a week in the Cloverpoint offices, plus all additional work shifted to mornings, evenings, and weekends.  Even still, I could use a bit more paying work I think.

Yesterday was a lot of fun.

I finally brought my car in for it’s regular servicing, only about 6 months late ;).  Seriously though, I hadn’t even reached the 18000 KM they say the car should be serviced at (it was just below 16000 km).  It checked out pretty well, with no obvious problems, and I have another 6 months before I should bring it in again.  With luck, I may even remember to :).

Christina and I made it to the cash and carry, I came away with a survival kit for my car, she ended up with a nice side table for her office.  I’m definitely going to have to go there every week, they change out their sale items rapidly, and I keep seeing things I want.

We also made it to a used book store while we were downtown, and we loaded up a backpack with books… enough that I’ll have a solid week of reading I think, and she has a few items to keep her busy too.

I picked up one of the new apple mice for her.. wow, I’ll admit it. I have envy.  I wonder if all the cool functions would work on a windows box?  Mind you, I’d need bluetooth on the desktop machines, which i don’t have… nah, it’ll keep.. Something to read about later.

After a huge meal (we were starving by this point) we stopped into the local Sleep Country.  I’d bought my last bed from them, but it’s getting older and starting to creak a bit, so we went looking for a nice memory foam bed.  Just browsing, honest!

An hour later, we’d bought a king sized memory foam bed, with all the goodies.  I’ll admit, the salesman was amazing.  The product was too, and since Christina also wanted it, that sealed the deal.  Maybe not the ideal time to buy, but on their payment plan it’s not unmanageable.

This also means that we can offer my mom a nice place to sleep, vs on a futon or air mattress (we didn’t have a bed in either of the two unused bedrooms).  The new bed gets delivered tomorrow, so we’ll be sleeping on the futon tonight, but that’s no real punishment.  Tonight at 6 we head for the airport to pick my mom up, she’ll be here for about a week.

Not a lot else to say at the moment, today’s all about moving furniture around, cleaning up the house a bit, and generally enjoying a weekend off.

d to remember to do this more often, I get so busy living life I don’t bother writing it down.  I do like reading about these times later though, my memory clears up nicely with a little prompting.

Off to play now.

 

ambition [æmˈbɪʃən]n

1.strong desire for success, achievement, or distinction

2. something so desired; goal; aim

I have it.  When the hell did that happen?

I wouldn’t have called myself an ambitious man growing up.  I had some ideas about what I wanted, but I wasn’t driven to accomplish them.  Mostly I just waited patiently for the things I wanted to come to pass, and rationalized if they didn’t.  Surely, since it didn’t happen, it obviously wasn’t meant to be right?

During my first marriage I found my drive, my determination.  Somewhat stumbling and hesitant true, but it raised me from where I’d been crouching down waiting, and put my feet on the right path.  It goaded me onward, to take a chance, to try something new, to make something of myself.  In a few short years I turned around to discover I’d exceeded all of my own expectations.  My future was bright, and my present was pretty good too.  Almost instinctively I put on the brakes and tried my hardest to maintain this state.

You see, any improvements come as a result of change.  The word improvement itself means “change something to make it better”.  That’s the rub really.  Change implies risk.  There’s no guarantee that reaching for the higher rung doesn’t result in slipping and smashing your nose on the ground.  Looking around you see people experiencing exactly that – they try, they fail, and they end up in a worse position.  But how much weight should that hold with you?  I mean seriously.  You’re not them.  They’re not you.  Your situation is unique, and your life choices are your own.  Just because someone else can’t ride a bike, doesn’t mean that no bike can be ridden.

It took being on my own again, where the risks were near par with the rewards to make a change, to leave my comfortable nest and strike out in a new city.  Had I learned anything?  Well, not a lot really.  I’d done something new finally, but more because I had less to lose, than because I had more to gain.

Fast forward now a few years.  Suddenly I’m making the decisions, instead of reacting to them.  I’ve found new things to do, and to learn.  I’m reaching for the next rung, even though there’s a chance I might slip.  I’m determined, and I have thrown myself into the struggle to make life better.

I’m no longer satisfied to stay in my comfort zone.  It’s warm and safe, true enough – but it doesn’t make me feel like I’m accomplishing things.  I can’t wait any longer for things to come my way.  Now I am searching for them, and I’m prepared to claim them as mine.

Ambition? Yeah, I’ve got it.  Watch out, here I come.