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On the way home a few minutes ago, I saw a man wearing a sign.
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It said:
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“HONK IF YOU
LOVE PEACE
AND QUIET”
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So I honked my broken (and silent) car horn.
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Works for me!
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Untitled
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K.
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I can only take so much “wah, poor me!” from myself before I get over it. It's a learned reflex I guess, from those times thankfully long past. I refuse to let bad thoughts sink their teeth into me, I know as well as anyone how tightly they can hang on if they get a firm grip. After a while, it becomes nearly impossible to break free, and that's a special kind of hell.
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My moment of self-pity has passed.
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I'm going to call it a night. I have to try to make it into the office sometime tomorrow to get some work done, and I'm planning on sleeping in. Soo… the sooner I sleep, the longer I sleep 🙂
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I think I'm going to wear some of my new clothes tomorrow. I quite like what I picked out. Some new shirts and pants, more than anything they're clothes I think I can be comfortable wearing. Stylish? I doubt it, that's one of those words I don't quite get.
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Even if I did, I think I'd rather choose clothes that are comfortable to wear, and comforting to my eyes, over “what's in”.
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I'd rather be me, than a copy of someone else!
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G'Night!
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Untitled
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Today was totally unproductive.
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Not that I didn't do a lot today mind you.
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I went to a gathering at J's this afternoon, and played with his daughter (which never fails to cheer me up). I went shopping, and bought some more clothes, all much needed. That brings me up to about a week's worth of clothes total, which is the most clothes I've had in the last 2 years. I even bought slippers! My feet have finally stopped complaining about the cold!
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Oh, and laundry, great piles of laundry, which means I'll be able to go out DRESSED (always a good thing, it's still a bit nippy out!)
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I finally got around to eating more than a snack for the first time in the last few days, and I'm feeling a bit better for it. I locked down a few servers, and did a little work email.
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My diet/stress/overwork is starting to pay off, I'm 9 pounds lighter than when this all started, which is a good start.
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A has been off the radar for most of this week, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm pretty sure she's avoiding me, but I've been so high stress I haven't had a chance to check up on her.
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It's quiet here.
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I miss having people to phone. That's the problem with moving as many times as I have. You leave your enemies behind, but you also leave your friends as well.
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Not much I can do about it right now mind you. I'm in that awkward in-between place, where the old crowd has lost touch, but new associations haven't been made yet.
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I'm complaining, and I know it. It's hard to meet people here. Maybe the same is true everywhere, but I've been surrounded by friends up until last February, and before I met them I had Tracy. Going back further, I was in the middle of a group of friends who I'd known for years. So it's been about 12 years since I've been in this kind of a position, and I've gotta admit I'm not really enjoying it.
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Don't get me wrong. People know me. My co-workers respect me, and the people I meet in my day-to-day life generally get along with me.
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At 1 o'clock in the morning, when the quiet voice of uncertainty is biting you, who do you call? For the moment, none of the people who are involved in my life are the person I would call.
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I don't like where this journal is going. I'm going to stop and go away, and hopefully come back armed and armored, and ready to face what's next with more optimism.
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It'll get better – no. I'll get better.
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This is just a moment, it will pass.
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They always do.
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Random thought for the day:
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yay, be my friend
I'm loyal and i don't shed
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